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当前位置: 宅男颓道地址 > QQ个性签名 > QQ搞笑个性签名 > 雷人的搞笑个性签名吸引人的 搞笑个性签名大全哲理

雷人的搞笑个性签名吸引人的 搞笑个性签名大全哲理

更新时间:2017-06-02 作者:SS 发表评论

我说话从来不带刺 如果我说话让你难堪了 不好意思那我就是故意的

没错 你家玻璃是我砸坏的 怕你关了窗户听不到我在楼下喊我爱你

一辈子太长我只争朝夕

洗澡洗的好好的,突然放出冷水,卧槽开始怀疑人生.

因为我要赢 所以你们都得输

你以为你帅了不起吗 告诉你还真是了不起

要是哪天我被众人推倒了 你也记得推我一把 别因为我挨骂

就是有人笨到 都不知道自己正在喜欢一个人

事实上我对很多人已经失望了 可我还是忍不住和他们讲话

你有勾搭我对象的心思我就有把你头拧下来的本事.

“怎么形容一个女的漂亮?”“把你搁古代你可以撑起一个青楼!”

他笑起来不说话低着头 怎样看都好温柔

你很有骨气很有想法而且你不甘平庸可是你懒啊.

经常喊饿的姑娘大多数是心地善良单纯可爱直率天真

很喜欢很喜欢却不能在一起 就像小松鼠包着满嘴栗子 舍不得吞下去一样委屈

雷人的搞笑个性签名吸引人的_搞笑个性签名大全哲理

我也想善解人意,可我对你就是小气鬼。

做个干净的女孩不被世俗所沾染不为五斗米折腰如果不能那就找个对你好的男孩宠你

我这个人 说白了也不是什么好东西见一个爱一个的货色可你不离开我 我就不会遇见下一个 .

我是你十座金山都换不回的女孩 也是你二十瓶酒都喝不倒的爸爸

你搂着你的心上人四处流浪,我抱着我的一亿睡遍天下鸭王.

你被他操了一晚不如我一个电话叫他回家吃饭要是我的男人你说撩就撩 那你也叫梁莉好了.

你特别像个小孩子你知道吗 我不是说你幼稚 更没说你可爱 我只是说你特别像我儿子

一人两房三餐四季五杀

不要扶我,我没醉,前面那条路会动,你去帮我扶住那条路

把卧槽倒过来念 就是我最想对你说的话

“十句搭讪 百句晚安 千句闲聊 万句废话 只为 有一天能够听到你在床上的呻吟声”

想认识那种 说话超级搞笑 脾气特别好 既体贴又温柔的人

我心狠手辣 作死的舔了一下手指 被辣哭了

你要早点睡 不要熬夜玩手机 这样对手机不好

劝你闭嘴我才是这世上最恶毒的鬼.

把一颗牙丢进可乐里一天以后它就会变成一只白色的蝴蝶

雷人的搞笑个性签名吸引人的_搞笑个性签名大全哲理

人活着实诚点直接点我很饿我想喝酒我喜欢你

我就是喜欢一边心如明镜知道一切实情一边装傻充楞看你们演戏

你是甜甜香香的面包,中间夹着暖暖的巧克力

别去劝一个执意要吃屎的人 不然他不但不会感谢你 还会以为你要和他抢着吃

我跟你讲我发起脾气来 自己都害怕 我怕别人打我

我把月亮戳到天上 天就是我的 我把脚踩入地下地就是我的 我把唇压进你的脸庞 你就是我的

不想讨人喜欢 只想做个迷人的小混蛋

从今以后保持低调和神秘 对自己的可爱与仙气只字不提

我为了你难过 算是谁的错

叫太容易动情 但我喜欢这罪名

我不太可靠 何必投你所好

希望有一天我能分清 喜欢是离不开 而爱是不离开

我哭的多狼狈也不如她稍皱眉

能理解和照顾到你所有细小的情绪的人 太迷人了吧

谁也不欠谁 谁也别为难谁

快说 快说我是你的小王八蛋

该高兴就高兴,不高兴就憋着,实在不行就去跳楼.

面子都给你们了 我脸往哪儿放

百度搜不到你 搜狗里面绝对有你

胸比较害羞 它会在你睡觉的时候悄悄长大 所以不要熬夜

岁月让我知道了除了快递我谁都不必等

你别东张西望 赶快亲在我嘴唇上

好好活下去 每天都有新打击

我待你和别人不同 你却始终不懂

刀我递给你 杀我宠我你随意

从此我们恩断义绝 我不再是你们的爹

都说仙女的眼泪是珍珠所以我不可以随便哭.

深爱是胸口有雷霆万钧,唇齿之间只有云淡风轻

人是我爱的有什么事什么意见你找我

喜欢看你笑起来的样子 酷酷的还有点可爱

如果有一天你出事了,请一定叫上我 。我不会扣字不能给你挡刀,但我可以出来帅死对方。

很懒 没什么特长 但熬夜是一把好手

自卑有多重档次,最高档次的自卑表现为吹嘘。

赖床是对假期最起码的尊重。

拍照的时候明明觉得自己笑的很自然,拍出来却看像面瘫

山不在高,有仙则明,水不在多,能喝就行。

我活了18年才知道观音菩萨是男的- -

有多少同学就算那道数学题不会做也会先华丽丽的先写上解字!

Smile while you still have teeth 微笑吧趁现在还有牙齿

左手握著了愛情,可是右手卻突然鬆手了。

世界是我们的,也是孩子们的,但最终是那帮孙子们的!

我买了个新手机,开了飞行模式,从7楼扔出去,还是摔坏了!

装什么城里人,现在地球都叫村。

手拿菜刀砍电线,一路火花带闪电

看见身边的一对对儿都结婚了,我真心怀疑我老公是不是几十年前被人流掉了

不想找一枝芳草,不想弯腰

听英文歌就是好,听了半年阿都不嫌烦,因为哥听不懂。

远看青山绿水,近看龇牙咧嘴,远看绿水清山,近看满脸雀斑

旋转的木马没有翅膀,但可以带着你到处飞翔

马上就要在全班同学面前暴露自己是一个学渣了。

背不出书就跟拉不出屎一样让我有种无法言喻的痛

感冒的最高境界,就是用鼻子吹泡泡。

上晚自习的时候,突然听见我们班的学霸说:“这么难的物理卷子都做完了,得赶紧做张化学卷子奖励奖励自己。”

天蒼蒼,眼茫茫,沒錢的日子太漫長!

每当考试我心就在想;耶稣,请把我带走吧。

当男人遇见女人,从此只有纪念日,没有独立日。

闺蜜,嫁不出去.....我娶你!

愿看到这句话的人都是帅比美妞生出来的儿子像kimi那样可爱

你的国语发音正确吗,请读;国果,国过果,国过郭果,国过郭锅裹果,国过郭锅裹帼果哒,恭喜你下蛋成功!

如果太阳不出来了,我就不去上班了;如果出来了,我就继续睡觉!

口袋里钞票的颜色,决定了今天的心情。

小孩子难过了口头上哄哄就开心了,我们大人不行,得吃顿好的或买些东西才行。

再回首,那人已是孩子他爸。

雷人的搞笑个性签名吸引人的_搞笑个性签名大全哲理

从今以后保持低调和神秘,对自己的可爱与仙气只字不提。~

地铁上说禁止携带易燃易爆物品,我默默的下车了。因为我……可爱到爆。

出生的时候,上帝问我是要长得可爱,还是要记性好,我已经忘了我当时是怎么回答的了。

世界让我遍体鳞伤,但伤口长出的却是翅膀,有人拿来飞翔,可我却拿去煲了汤。

一定要记住那些陪你聊到深夜的人,就是因为他们,才让你熬夜导致黑眼圈那么重皮肤这么差的。

在你妈眼里,你只有“你都多大了”和“你才几岁”这两个年龄,并且这两个年龄可能会交叉出现。

小孩子难过了口头上哄哄就开心了,我们大人不行,得吃顿好的或买些东西才行。

我这个人经不起批评,谁要是在游戏里骂我,我就举报他。

我就是我是颜色不一样的烟火,他就是他,是两块钱一捆儿的呲花。

手机摔了这么多次都没事,后来想想还是我的身高救了它。

羡慕那种一伤心就能吃不下饭,然后暴瘦的人。我无论如何都没有这样的时刻,我再伤心都坚持吃饭!

睡得晚,早上起来会困。睡的早,早上起来还是困。结论就是:我不适合起床。

单身,并不意味着你不懂爱情,事实却是你或者胖或者丑,又或者两样全占。

我这个人立场很不坚定,谁胸大我就跟谁玩,没办法,我就是这么一个随波逐流的人。

在这个看脸的时代,对于男孩子我最看重的还是才华。长相无所谓,帅就可以了。

为了防止我这个月又乱花钱,我提前把钱都花完了,两袖清风,一身正气……

我特别喜欢跟吃饭爱聊天的朋友一起吃饭,一般他们聊天的时候我都在闷头猛吃。

有些人可能只是嘴里说着自己吃土,兜里还有很多钱,我就不一样,我嘴里说着吃土,其实已经喝西北风了。

请记住我是一个高冷的人,请不要被我时常的神经病所迷惑。

听过很多减肥方法,依然胖着过完这一生。

像我这种连名牌都不认识几个的人,有时候连别人在炫富都感觉不到,只要看到有英文的就感觉好贵!

早早起来真的可以做很多的事……比如说,再睡一觉。(>﹏<)

我再也不是一两条关心的短信就会被打动的小女生了,至少也得给个红包才行。

一直劝别人找对象长得过得去对你好就行,自己却一心想找个好看的。

你要是按你自拍那样长,怎么会没男朋友。ら

我窝在你们的关注列表即使不说话都散发着帅气。

一定要记住那些陪你聊到深夜的人,就是因为他们,才让你熬夜黑眼圈那么重皮肤这么差的。

希望你能明白,我要是打得过你,还骂你干啥呢?

虽说早睡早起身体好,可是晚睡晚起心情好啊。

睡不着无非三个原因:手里有部手机,心里住着个傻逼,肚子里有只咕咕鸡。

想我的时候就告诉我要请我吃东西,我马上就到。

I never talk. If I embarrass you, sorry, I mean it

Yes, your home is my glass smashed if you shut the window to hear me in the downstairs shouting I love you

Life is too long I seize the day

Bath, wash well, suddenly release cold water, lying trough began to doubt life

Because I want to win, so you have to lose

Do you think you're handsome? It's great to tell you

If one day I was all over you also remember don't push me down because I scolded

Some people are so stupid that they don't even know they like someone

As a matter of fact, I was disappointed with a lot of people, but I couldn't help talking to them

You have to pick me up object of mind I have got your head off the ball.

"How to describe a beautiful woman?" "put you in ancient times, you can raise a brothel."!"

He smiled and talked, his head lowered, and his eyes soft

You have a backbone, you have an idea, and you're not mediocre, but you're lazy

Most of the hungry girls are kind-hearted, simple, lovely, simple and naive

I like it very much, but I can't be together, just like a little squirrel with a mouthful of chestnuts. I can't bear to swallow it

I want to be understanding, too, but I'm mean to you.

Make a clean girl has not been polluted by the secular is not a handout, if it can find a boy for you love you

I am a man who says plainly, and is not a good thing, to see a thing that loves one, but if you do not leave me, I will not meet the next

I am your ten Hill do not back to the girl is twenty bottles of wine to drink down your father

You walk around with your sweetheart, and I sleep with my one hundred million King duck over the world

You are a night as he picked me a telephone call to him to go home for dinner if my man you say that you have got up Lihao. Also called beam

You're like a little kid, you know, I don't mean you're childish, or you're cute, I just say you're special like my son

One person, two meals, four seasons, five killed

Don't help me. I'm not drunk. The road ahead will move. You can help me with that road

Turn the sink upside down and read what I want to say to you

Ten sentences, a thousand words, a good night, a thousand words, a little talk, just one day I can hear you moaning on the bed"

Want to know that kind of talk super funny, good temper, both considerate and gentle person

I die extremely cruel and merciless licked finger was hot to cry

You want to go to bed early, don't stay up late to play mobile phones, so bad for mobile phones

Tell you to shut up. I'm the most vicious ghost in the world

Throw a tooth into a coke and in a day it will turn into a white butterfly

I'm very hungry. I want to drink. I like you

I just love one heart know all the facts and play dumb to see you acting

You're sweet, sweet bread with warm chocolate in the middle

Don't try to persuade a man who wants to eat shit, or he will not thank you, but you will have to eat with him

I told you I was so angry that I was afraid that I would be hit

I thrust the moon into the sky. It's mine. I put my foot under the ground. It's mine. I put my lips in your face. You're mine

I don't want to be liked. I just want to be a charming little jerk

Henceforth keep low-key and mysterious to hide their lovely and Xian Qi

Whose fault is it that I'm sorry for you?

It's too emotional, but I like the accusation

I'm not very sure. Why should I vote for you?

I hope one day I can distinguish love from leaving, but love is not leaving

I cried more than she could frown

It's fascinating to be able to understand and take care of all your little emotions

No one owes anyone, nor anyone else

You said I was your little bastard

The happy is happy, unhappy on the suppression, really can not go to jump off a building

The face has been given to you. Where should I put my face?

Baidu search, you Sogou inside absolutely you

The breasts are shy. They grow up when you sleep, so don't stay up too late

Years let me know, in addition to express, I do not have to wait

You don't look around to kiss on my lips

Live well, every day has a new attack

I treat you differently from others, but you never understand

I'll give you the knife, kill me, spoil me, you can do it

From now on we enduanyijue I is no longer your father

They say the fairy's tears are pearls, so I can't cry at random

Love is an irresistible force in his chest, lips only clear

People are my love, what matters, what opinion you find me?

Like to see you smile, cool and lovely

If one day you have an accident, please call me. I won't buckle the words, I can't give you a knife, but I can come out and die.

Very lazy, no special skills, but stay up late is a good hand

Inferiority has multiple grades, the highest level of inferiority, to boast.

Stay in bed at least respect for vacation.

When you take pictures, obviously think you smile naturally, but it looks like facial paralysis

Hill is not high, there are immortal Ming, the water is not much, can drink on the line.

I lived for 18 years before I knew Avalokiteshvara was a man

How many students are there even if the math problem won't do would be to write the magnificent words!

Smile, while, you, still, have, teeth, smile, while still have teeth

The left hand holding the right hand of love, but suddenly let go.

The world is ours, and the children, but it is the grandchildren!

I bought a new cell phone, opened a flight mode, threw it from the 7 floor, or broke it!

What city people are installed, and now the earth is called the village.

With a kitchen knife, a wire, a band of sparks, a flash of lightning

See a couple around

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